From: "JMT"
Newsgroups: alt.sex.movies,rec.arts.movies.erotica
Subject: Review # 6: Butt Banged Bicycle Babes
Date: Tue, 15 Apr 97 21:39:44
Organization: Buttmen of America
BUTT BANGED BICYCLE BABES
DIRECTOR: CHRISTOPHER ALEXANDER
CAST: MISTY RAIN, DRAGHIXA, BARBARA DOLL, FRANCESCA LE, MAROLIN, YVONNE,
KIM CHAMBERS, JOHN DOUGH, JOHN STAGLIANO, SEAN MICHAELS, GERRY PIKE, ERIC,
MARC WALLACE, GUY DESILVA, CHAD THOMAS AND MARK DAVIS
I've been watching porn since I was 14 and my uncle, who wasn't exactly a
prude, said, "I don't give a shit," when I timidly walked into his living
room and asked if I could watch the porn movie on his big Beta Max machine
with him.
I've long forgotten what that movie was, if I ever knew in the first place,
I was probably slack jawed from suddenly realizing what would be my
greatest joy in life, but in all the many years since then, only a few
movies have made a lasting impression on me.
I remember seeing Debbie Does Dallas for the first time and thinking it
would have been so much better if only Debbie had actually been in it more.
(And wondering why the ugliest girl in the cast was the only one to get
buttfucked. I was so naive then.)
I can recall seeing Dixie Ray Superstar and realizing that porn could
actually put out a decent movie that would keep my attention even if the
sex did suck. I marveled at Stiff Competition, never realizing it would be
close to the last time porn film makers actually tried to make the story
line flow.
I can remember being mesmerized by Tianna's butt in the opening scene of
the original Buttman tape, of wondering why American companies were so far
behind when I saw my first Private Video Magazine. (Number 5 to be exact.)
And then there's Butt Banged Bicycle Babes. This was Anabolic's first
attempt at producing an anal tape that was specifically aimed at that
market. The Nasty Nympho's tape contained a lot of anal sex, but they
weren't being aimed at that market. They were targeted for the gonzo
playing field.
There are five scenes on the Babes tape and the first three are standard,
forgettable fair, unless you're a fan of someone involved. But the last are
another story. I first saw this tape in December of 1994, (it was a
Christmas present!) and those two scenes still haunt me, if that's the
correct term. I recently watched the tape again, to refresh my memory, and
the last two scenes still gave me chills.
But, let's start at the beginning. I'm a fan of female butts, the bigger
the better, and this tape opens with Kim Chambers and Yvonne riding down
the road on bicycles, hence the title. They're actually part of an opening
montage, but none of the other women can compare to Chambers. This is a
big, fleshily built woman and her oversized butt is wrapped in white
stretch shorts and her cheeks spill wonderfully all over the bicycle seat.
It's just a small indicator of the intense heat she gives off in the last
scene.
But let's go to the first scene. Misty Rain connects the sex scenes, riding
an exercise bike and reading "letters from Anabolic fans" detailing what
they want to see. While I doubt the authenticity of these letters, it isa
time honored way of giving a movie some semblance of a story.
Our opening scene has Draghixa (remember her?) riding her bike through the
woods as she's trying to find Biff Malibu (actually director Christopher
Alexander) so she can keep her "modeling" appointment.
She eventually runs into John Dough and a loopy looking foreign guy named
Eric. They lay a line of bullshit on her and she's soon kneeling between
them, sucking on their totem poles. The trio of Marc Wallace, Gerry Pike
and guy DeSilva soon ride up, have pretend trouble with their bicycles,
then join the fun.
Yeah, it's a gang bang, and not too good of a one at that. Unless I missed
something, Eric is the only guy to fuck Draghixa, the other guys have to
settle for blow jobs, and he's not too good a choice. I never paid that
much attention to Draghixa, she's kind of weird looking, and I can only
assume this guy was maybe her S/O and the only one allowed to fuck her.
He does get to fuck her up the ass,but his dick is only half hard and keeps
slipping out. We get a quick cut to tree tops, didn't notice that problem
with wood edit at all, and when we return to the action, Eric has his dick
hard and reams out Draghixa's butthole pretty good as she lies on her side,
sucking the other guys off.
The scene ends with three of the five guys getting their rocks off in her
face. I believe Gerry Pike was left out and either Guy DeSilva or Wallace
simply disappeared. Eric's cumshot is pretty pathetic, but Dough does a
pretty good job of covering her face thoroughly. Outtakes at the end show
Draghixa asking for a towel, unable to open her eyes as Dough plastered
them shut.
The next scene is just silly and rather dull. Apparentlly Max Hardcore, who
doesn't perform, has signed up Pike and Sean Michaels to do a scene, but
the girl hasn't shown up. After reaching her on the phone, Hardcore is
given a list of disasters that befell the girl and, well, she isn't showing
up.
Not to worry. Step outside and there's the long gone Barbara Doll ridinga
bicycle down the road. The guys talk to her, she answers in a thick accent,
and soon we're beside the pool where Pike and Michaels fuck, buttfuck and
DP the soon to be latest poster child of HIV rumors.
The scene doesn't really work on any level. Michaels has trouble staying
hard, even in her tight ass, and Pike, well, I don't really know what to
make of him. And Hardcore, barking out directions like some demented Cecile
B. DeMille, doesn't help.
After that torture is over, we go to the desert where Misty Rain has
promised some letter hack she'll honestly fuck somebody other than Chad
Thomas. And she does, but it's Pike, who must have been spending the
weekend at the director's house, to be in so many scenes on one tape.
Pike and Rain are joined by the aforemention Thomas and Francesca Le. This
scene is actually pretty well done, but it's dragged down some by there
being very little anal action. Rain's butt is drilled briefly by Thomas and
that's it. Le's butthole is never touched.
I was turned on the deep kisses Rain and Le give each other, I'm not
usually a fan of girl/girl action,but this touched something deep inside
me. And there's cum swapping between Rain and Le for those of you who like
that.
I must confess the fourth scene on this tape has stuck with me because the
woman in it, Marolin, is a dead ringer for a woman I know in my personal
life. While I'll never get to fuck this woman, dammit :-), I can call up
this scene whenever I want to and pretend I'm Mark Davis.
One thing about this scene is that it's shot in Hawaii, next to the surf
and you really can't hear what's being said. I did hear the director call
Davis Steve once, for what that's worth, but a lot of the dialogue was lost
in the sounds of waves crashing.
The gist of this scene is that Marolin is both a video virgin and a
butthole virgin. She's a big, well rounded blonde with big natural tits.
She's got an infectious smile and when Davis puts his pecker in her butt,
her yells drown out the waves. There's no doubting she's an anal virgin.
All pretense of ignoring the camera is dropped as Alexander and his camera
woman Susie give Marolin tips on how to best accomodate Davis's uncut
sausage up her butt. No, the anal sex never does reach the butthole
stretching, pounding level that I like, but dammit, I love this scene! I
must qualify that, though, by reminding you that this woman is a dead
ringer for a woman I want in my "real" life, but can't have. Your mileage
may vary.
The final scene is a classic, and is the one anal scene I would probably
take with me to that fabled desert island. It stars Chambers, Davis, Yvonne
and John Stagliano. But forget all that. Imagine Chambers on a lawn chair,
big butt stuck high in the air as Davis and Stagliano take turns pounding
it. Chambers, in this scene at least, is a Goddess.
Yeah, Yvonne takes it up the butt too, and Stagliano cums like five or six
times, he does this a lot, and I must admit it's impressive, but Chamber's
butt is the well deserved centerpiece of this scene. She gets in the lawn
chair, sticks it in the air and let's it get ravaged. Stagliano pours a
bottle of water over it at one point just to cool it off. Maybe Alexander,
in the presence of Buttman, was showing off, but he shows a definite flair
for gonzo sex in this scene.
Chambers and Yvonne bring this tape to a scorching halt by sharing a cum
filled kiss. There is a scene of Rain climbing off the exercise bike,
revealing a large dildo that had been up her butt, followed by some
unfunny, non-erotic outtakes, but you can ignore all that.
If this tape had only the last two scenes on it, I would highly recommend
it. I consider the first three scenes disappointing bonuses. "Ah, they
weren't that great, guys, but I understand you were trying to fill out the
running time until you reached the last two masterpieces."
So, I recommend this tape unequivocally if you rent, and hell, even if you
buy. Marolin, Jesus, whatever became of her (one hit wonder?), is simply
gorgeous in my eyes and Kim Chambers butt would be worth my next paycheck
if I could just spend one hour alone with it.
JMT
Created: May 01, 1997 -- 12:08 AM
Last Updated:
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169 “I can arrange all that.” Such Apaches as had not gone back on the war-path returned to the States with the troops; but there were five months more of the outrages of Geronimo and his kind. Then in the summer of the year another man, more fortunate and better fitted to deal with it all, perhaps,—with the tangle of lies and deceptions, cross purposes and trickery,—succeeded where Crook had failed and had been relieved of a task that was beyond him. Geronimo was captured, and was hurried off to a Florida prison with his band, as far as they well could be from the reservation they had refused to accept. And with them were sent other Indians, who had been the friends and helpers of the government for years, and who had run great risks to help or to obtain peace. But the memory and gratitude of governments is become a proverb. The southwest settled down to enjoy its safety. The troops rested upon the laurels they had won, the superseded general went on with his work in another field far away to the north. The new general, the saviour of the land, was heaped[Pg 305] with honor and praise, and the path of civilization was laid clear. Parliament met on the 10th of January, 1765. The resentment of the Americans had reached the ears of the Ministry and the king, yet both continued determined to proceed. In the interviews which Franklin and the other agents had with the Ministers, Grenville begged them to point to any other tax that would be more agreeable to the colonists than the stamp-duty; but they without any real legal grounds drew the line between levying custom and imposing an inland tax. Grenville paid no attention to these representations. Fifty-five resolutions, prepared by a committee of ways and means, were laid by him on the table of the House of Commons at an early day of the Session, imposing on America nearly the same stamp-duties as were already in practical operation in England. These resolutions being adopted, were embodied in a bill; and when it was introduced to the House, it was received with an apathy which betrayed on all hands the profoundest ignorance of its importance. Burke, who was a spectator of the debates in both Houses, in a speech some years afterwards, stated that he never heard a more languid debate than that in the Commons. Only two or three persons spoke against the measure and that with great composure. There was but one division in the whole progress of the Bill, and the minority did not reach to more than thirty-nine or forty. In the Lords, he said, there was, to the best of his recollection, neither division nor debate! His cheek paled for an instant as the thought obtruded that the man might resist and he have to really shoot him. "Good, the old man's goin' to take the grub out to 'em himself," thought the Deacon with relief. "He'll be easy to manage. No need o' shootin' him." "Them that we shot?" said Shorty carelessly, feeling around for his tobacco to refill his pipe. "Nothin'. I guess we've done enough for 'em already." John Dodd, twenty-seven years old, master, part of the third generation, arranged his chair carefully so that it faced the door of the Commons Room, letting the light from the great window illumine the back of his head. He clasped his hands in his lap in a single, nervous gesture, never noticing that the light gave him a faint saintlike halo about his feathery hair. His companion took another chair, set it at right angles to Dodd's and gave it long and thoughtful consideration, as if the act of sitting down were something new and untried. "Besides," Norma said desperately, "they're only rumors—" "Oh, I've found a way of gitting shut of them rootses—thought of it while I wur working at the trees. I'm going to blast 'em out." During the next ten years the farm went forward by strides. Reuben bought seven more acres of Boarzell in '59, and fourteen in '60. He also bought a horse-rake, and threshed by machinery. He was now a topic in every public-house from Northiam to Rye. His success and the scant trouble he took to conciliate those about him had made him disliked. Unprosperous farmers[Pg 124] spoke windily of "spoiling his liddle game." Ditch and Ginner even suggested to Vennal that they should club together and buy thirty acres or so of the Moor themselves, just to spite him. However, money was too precious to throw away even on such an object, especially as everyone felt sure that Backfield would sooner or later "bust himself" in his dealings with Boarzell. "Let's go home," she said faintly—"it's getting late." HoME干别人老婆嗯啊小说
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