Subject: Review: Never Say Never
From: [email protected] (Peter van Aarle)
Date: Fri, 28 Apr 1995 07:29:53 +0200
Ok, it's review time again :-)
Since I recently saw some movies which were worthy of review I'm going to
do my duty again...
Never Say Never (the Adventures of Barbara Bond)
(Sin City 1994, dir: Harold Lime + Jane Waters)
cast: Kylie Ireland, Sharon Kane, PJ Sparx, Sahara Sands,
Tom Byron, Peter North, Jon Dough, Jonathon Morgan
Apparently someone got the idea it was time for another batch of James Bond
take-offs. Since it's been nearly 10 years since the last series (which
featured various actresses as Jane Bond) so they decided this time it's
Jane's little sister Barbara Bond's turn...
Barbara (Kylie Ireland) goes to the office of Control (Jonathon Morgan) and
is told that the Sadam Syndicate has been capturing young girls. It will be
Barbara's task to get kidnapped by them, and to find out what their plan
is. But before she goes she has to take along a secret transmitter, and
Control urges her to conceal it well. Naturally she decides her pussy would
be a good place, and she asks Control if he'd mind inserting it. However,
before he does this she gets him to suck and fuck her pussy first.
And he also tells her that they have a mole in the Syndicate with the
codename of Sahara...
Next thing we see is Barbara Bond being taken from the trunk of a Merc and
shackled to a bed in the mansion of the leader of the Sadam Syndicate: Dr.
Never (Jon Dough).
In the meantime Dr. Never's sister, Sharon Kane, is passing the time with
two of their arabian henchmen, Tom Byron and Peter North. Well what else is
there to do for a bunch of horny arch-villains that fuck their brains out?
Then Dr. Never wants to check if their last kidnapped girl has been
indoctrinated and brainwashed completely. So on comes PJ Sparx (looking
mighty fine again) and I would say her indoctrination worked very well,
because she acts like a perfect little sex slave in this nice scene (too
bad facial cumshots aren't part of the indoctrination ;-)
So the evil Dr. decides his girls are ready, and they start their heinous
plan in motion. The plan is to get the 25 girls into the audiences of all
the major talkshows (Letterman, Leno, Geraldo, Montel Williams, Oprah,
etc.) in the US and have them assassinate the host live on the air. The
resulting withdrawal symptoms will bring the whole of the US into his
power...
Then there is just this one loose end to tie up, and he orders Sharon to
submit Barbara to the "Lovemachine". This turns out to be a fucking-machine
with 2 dildos attached. Just as Sharon is about to start the thing the two
Arabic morons decide they won't allow Sharon to have Barbara all to
herself, so they overpower Sharon and tie her to the "Lovemachine". Barbara
goes in search of Dr. Never but instead bumps into Sahara Sands who
obviously is the mole. Since they need to wait a few hours they decide to
kill the time with some g/g shenanigans...
After this satisfying experience they decide to split up to find the evil
doctor.
Barbara is soon captured under a falling net and just as the Dr. decides he
will fuck her before killing her Sahara comes in (called their by the
hidden transmitter) and tells the Dr.: "why settle for her scrawny bod when
you can have me". When she adds that she love backdoor action Jon readily
agrees with her and they get busy.
This diversion was enough for Barbara to get out of the net and she awakes
the sated Dr. Never with a sharp knife between his legs. The threat of the
knife is enough for Jon to spill the names of all the shows he has sent
girls too, and another successful case for Barbara ends...
Well, I liked this movie. The scenes are mostly well shot, the girls are
good looking (Kylie shouldn't have gone for the boob job since there was no
need) and seem enthusiastic in their scenes. Amazing to realize that Sharon
Kane still looks this good after some 16 years in the business...
It's not gonna be a classic, but an above average effort fro this day and
age.
Finally the rating: a parabola and two circles (according to our new rating
system introduced by Ron ;-)
Actually, I always hate giving numerical ratings because the scale is so
flexible (it even depends on what I saw before this movie: if that was
great, the rating will be lower than it should be) but something like 3.0
(out of the Imperial 4)
Peter van Aarle ([email protected])
169 “I can arrange all that.” Such Apaches as had not gone back on the war-path returned to the States with the troops; but there were five months more of the outrages of Geronimo and his kind. Then in the summer of the year another man, more fortunate and better fitted to deal with it all, perhaps,—with the tangle of lies and deceptions, cross purposes and trickery,—succeeded where Crook had failed and had been relieved of a task that was beyond him. Geronimo was captured, and was hurried off to a Florida prison with his band, as far as they well could be from the reservation they had refused to accept. And with them were sent other Indians, who had been the friends and helpers of the government for years, and who had run great risks to help or to obtain peace. But the memory and gratitude of governments is become a proverb. The southwest settled down to enjoy its safety. The troops rested upon the laurels they had won, the superseded general went on with his work in another field far away to the north. The new general, the saviour of the land, was heaped[Pg 305] with honor and praise, and the path of civilization was laid clear. Parliament met on the 10th of January, 1765. The resentment of the Americans had reached the ears of the Ministry and the king, yet both continued determined to proceed. In the interviews which Franklin and the other agents had with the Ministers, Grenville begged them to point to any other tax that would be more agreeable to the colonists than the stamp-duty; but they without any real legal grounds drew the line between levying custom and imposing an inland tax. Grenville paid no attention to these representations. Fifty-five resolutions, prepared by a committee of ways and means, were laid by him on the table of the House of Commons at an early day of the Session, imposing on America nearly the same stamp-duties as were already in practical operation in England. These resolutions being adopted, were embodied in a bill; and when it was introduced to the House, it was received with an apathy which betrayed on all hands the profoundest ignorance of its importance. Burke, who was a spectator of the debates in both Houses, in a speech some years afterwards, stated that he never heard a more languid debate than that in the Commons. Only two or three persons spoke against the measure and that with great composure. There was but one division in the whole progress of the Bill, and the minority did not reach to more than thirty-nine or forty. In the Lords, he said, there was, to the best of his recollection, neither division nor debate! His cheek paled for an instant as the thought obtruded that the man might resist and he have to really shoot him. "Good, the old man's goin' to take the grub out to 'em himself," thought the Deacon with relief. "He'll be easy to manage. No need o' shootin' him." "Them that we shot?" said Shorty carelessly, feeling around for his tobacco to refill his pipe. "Nothin'. I guess we've done enough for 'em already." John Dodd, twenty-seven years old, master, part of the third generation, arranged his chair carefully so that it faced the door of the Commons Room, letting the light from the great window illumine the back of his head. He clasped his hands in his lap in a single, nervous gesture, never noticing that the light gave him a faint saintlike halo about his feathery hair. His companion took another chair, set it at right angles to Dodd's and gave it long and thoughtful consideration, as if the act of sitting down were something new and untried. "Besides," Norma said desperately, "they're only rumors—" "Oh, I've found a way of gitting shut of them rootses—thought of it while I wur working at the trees. I'm going to blast 'em out." During the next ten years the farm went forward by strides. Reuben bought seven more acres of Boarzell in '59, and fourteen in '60. He also bought a horse-rake, and threshed by machinery. He was now a topic in every public-house from Northiam to Rye. His success and the scant trouble he took to conciliate those about him had made him disliked. Unprosperous farmers[Pg 124] spoke windily of "spoiling his liddle game." Ditch and Ginner even suggested to Vennal that they should club together and buy thirty acres or so of the Moor themselves, just to spite him. However, money was too precious to throw away even on such an object, especially as everyone felt sure that Backfield would sooner or later "bust himself" in his dealings with Boarzell. "Let's go home," she said faintly—"it's getting late."