From [email protected] Tue Aug 15 18:57:56 EDT 1995
Article: 72282 of alt.sex.movies
Path: news.eznet.net!news.sprintlink.net!mhv.net!news.westnet.com!news1.exit109.com!news.net99.net!news.fc.net!paranoia.com!imp
From: [email protected] (Imperator)
Newsgroups: alt.sex.movies
Subject: Re: review: Arrowhead (plus a lot of weird imperial bureaucracy)
Date: 15 Aug 1995 16:06:56 GMT
Organization: Overcome by Paranoia
Lines: 114
Message-ID: <[email protected]>
NNTP-Posting-Host: primus.paranoia.com
Status: RO
[email protected] (Frans Postma) responded to one of my responses :-)
[snip]
>> Note for those not following the Private series closely:
>> "Arrowhead" is the #24 of the Private Film series ("The
>> Tower 3" was #23).
>
> And #25 just arrived (_Apoclypse Climax_) with Melissa Hill, yeah!
Is that a sequel to "Arrowhead"? (i.e. are the crew the same idiots?).
[snip]
>>> Rating: 3.20
>>
>> You are too lenient. Rating: 1.85. All the marks are due to
>
> Hmmm, that would make it not worth a rental and you would miss all
> those nice girls. Didn't you think it was worth a rental? It's not a
> movie you'll see again-and-again all right, I agree on that.
>
> (this also proves that you should not review movies immediatly after
> you saw them, I'll try to remember that)
You are right on both counts. Of course, this was not a review and it WAS
right after I watched thre movie (I always wait for a few days before I
start compiling the reviews to ensure objectivity (yeah, right! :-)).
I'll revise the rating to 2.00 i.e. bordering between:
"Sucks as much as the average American rental" and
"Rent only if you are really, REALLY fond of the gals in the cast, AND
you have cash to burn"
Speaking of the ratings I have decided to make the following
clarification to the Imperial system that has always been at the back of
my mind:
0.00-1.00 are the really vile crap. The some total of Leisure Time falls
here as do the excessively botched "normal efforts" (Ninn, Nymphette does
Hollywood). You should consider yourselves real experts if you only
suffer one or two tapes of this range every year.
1.00 is the rating of the average 90s one-day wonder cheapo with 4
ordinary (i.e. no outdoors, no 3somes, no raunch) b-g's and 1 g-g. The
range 1.00-2.00 should NEVER be rented knowingly, but you are bound to be
trapped (usually due to the boxcover) many times in your renting career.
2.00 is the rating of: (a) the average 90s rental with some aspirations that
fell through, OR (b) the average Silver Age (1984-1988) one day wonder.
Usually, 2.00's of type (a) have tremendous casts and tremendous waste of
resources and so are annoying. B-type 2.00s are usually enjoyable and
quite honest.
The range 2.00-2.50 is already described.
3.00 is the rating of the average Golden Age film that does
not fall in the masterpiece >3.35 category. A good example of this type
is a non-Swedish Erotica Seka flick. The average decent budget Euro, or
the average extreme raunch Euro is also a 3.00
A note on the Ages according to Me. Note that like all historical
divisions these are approximate :-).
-The Golden Age is 1976-1984. I have slightly extended it from the
traditional 1977-1982 to include "Misty B." and the many excellent movies
of 1984. The Golden Age ends with the retirement of Annie and the rise of
Ginger (not that it was Ginger's fault of course :-)). The fringe period
is great fun, since it includes the first Angel&Ginger flicks and Bridgette
Monet.
-The Silver Age (my real sentimental favourite) should strictly be
1984-1986, i.e. up to the retirement of Ginger and Traci, but 1987-1989
had many nice movies with essentially the same stars as 1984-1986, so
I'll include 1988.
-The period 1988-1995 can be divided and named in many ways. A friend
calls it the Cheapskate Age or the Crap Age, but it is innaccurate since
it ignores Leslie&Stagliano. The term "Silicone Age" only applies to
post 1992 IMHO. The term Neon or Pretentious Age for 1989-1992 does
include most of Blake, but it really disregards the rest of the crap... I
mean the material :-). So, my opinion is that the traditional apellation
of "Iron age" is the best and safest.
Ok, now I got going with my bureaucratic pronouncements, let me go a bit
further :-)
In the matter of Silly Cones, there can be only 5 PGALW (Personality Goes
A Long Way) Pardons at any time. Mine of course, being Imperial, have
more weight than those of you mere mortals :-). In any case, I would be
interested to hear yours. Note that these are PERSONALITY pardons, not
"She makes me horny, so we'll forgive her" ones :-). That means Raven
does not qualify, nor does Victoria P.
Mine are:
-Ashlyn
-Nina
-Crystal W.
-(tentative) Juli A.
Juli is only tentative because I realized that I have had an overdose of
her and have got a bit sick of seeing her.
Number 5 I keep as a trump card. Shane has a lot of personality (of the
vacuous coed type -I love that) but a whole damn Imperial Pardon is a bit
too much. Let her roast :-). Sandra Scream certainly shows that PGALW, but
her boobjob is also very good so she really doesn't need a pardon. Leena
has personality bu, though it has gone a long way, it has not gone ALL
the way to forgive her terrible job.
All right, batch run is over, so enough with the idle thoughts and
schemes. Back to work.
Imperator
169 “I can arrange all that.” Such Apaches as had not gone back on the war-path returned to the States with the troops; but there were five months more of the outrages of Geronimo and his kind. Then in the summer of the year another man, more fortunate and better fitted to deal with it all, perhaps,—with the tangle of lies and deceptions, cross purposes and trickery,—succeeded where Crook had failed and had been relieved of a task that was beyond him. Geronimo was captured, and was hurried off to a Florida prison with his band, as far as they well could be from the reservation they had refused to accept. And with them were sent other Indians, who had been the friends and helpers of the government for years, and who had run great risks to help or to obtain peace. But the memory and gratitude of governments is become a proverb. The southwest settled down to enjoy its safety. The troops rested upon the laurels they had won, the superseded general went on with his work in another field far away to the north. The new general, the saviour of the land, was heaped[Pg 305] with honor and praise, and the path of civilization was laid clear. Parliament met on the 10th of January, 1765. The resentment of the Americans had reached the ears of the Ministry and the king, yet both continued determined to proceed. In the interviews which Franklin and the other agents had with the Ministers, Grenville begged them to point to any other tax that would be more agreeable to the colonists than the stamp-duty; but they without any real legal grounds drew the line between levying custom and imposing an inland tax. Grenville paid no attention to these representations. Fifty-five resolutions, prepared by a committee of ways and means, were laid by him on the table of the House of Commons at an early day of the Session, imposing on America nearly the same stamp-duties as were already in practical operation in England. These resolutions being adopted, were embodied in a bill; and when it was introduced to the House, it was received with an apathy which betrayed on all hands the profoundest ignorance of its importance. Burke, who was a spectator of the debates in both Houses, in a speech some years afterwards, stated that he never heard a more languid debate than that in the Commons. Only two or three persons spoke against the measure and that with great composure. There was but one division in the whole progress of the Bill, and the minority did not reach to more than thirty-nine or forty. In the Lords, he said, there was, to the best of his recollection, neither division nor debate! His cheek paled for an instant as the thought obtruded that the man might resist and he have to really shoot him. "Good, the old man's goin' to take the grub out to 'em himself," thought the Deacon with relief. "He'll be easy to manage. No need o' shootin' him." "Them that we shot?" said Shorty carelessly, feeling around for his tobacco to refill his pipe. "Nothin'. I guess we've done enough for 'em already." John Dodd, twenty-seven years old, master, part of the third generation, arranged his chair carefully so that it faced the door of the Commons Room, letting the light from the great window illumine the back of his head. He clasped his hands in his lap in a single, nervous gesture, never noticing that the light gave him a faint saintlike halo about his feathery hair. His companion took another chair, set it at right angles to Dodd's and gave it long and thoughtful consideration, as if the act of sitting down were something new and untried. "Besides," Norma said desperately, "they're only rumors—" "Oh, I've found a way of gitting shut of them rootses—thought of it while I wur working at the trees. I'm going to blast 'em out." During the next ten years the farm went forward by strides. Reuben bought seven more acres of Boarzell in '59, and fourteen in '60. He also bought a horse-rake, and threshed by machinery. He was now a topic in every public-house from Northiam to Rye. His success and the scant trouble he took to conciliate those about him had made him disliked. Unprosperous farmers[Pg 124] spoke windily of "spoiling his liddle game." Ditch and Ginner even suggested to Vennal that they should club together and buy thirty acres or so of the Moor themselves, just to spite him. However, money was too precious to throw away even on such an object, especially as everyone felt sure that Backfield would sooner or later "bust himself" in his dealings with Boarzell. "Let's go home," she said faintly—"it's getting late."