From [email protected] Mon Jul 3 00:53:12 EDT 1995
Article: 67704 of alt.sex.movies
Message-ID: <[email protected]>
Path: netnews.upenn.edu!news.voicenet.com!news.sprintlink.net!EU.net!news.eunet.fi!anon.penet.fi
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From: [email protected] (A. P. Ervert )
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Date: Mon, 3 Jul 1995 03:50:20 UTC
Subject: [RAMBLE] Ervert Enveloped in Excessive Egregious Erotica
Lines: 113
Status: RO
Ervert Enveloped in Excessive Egregious Erotica
Or
Smuthead Squanders Sabbath (and Salary) in Squalid Salon Sampling
Sordid Sex Scenes
Or
Ervert Does Peeps, Part LIX
The few of you who follow my sporadic ramblings in the group will no
doubt be familiar with my predicament --- tremendous appetite for
filth, tremendous distance between my abode and the filth.
Rather than pay out a large fortune to purchase filty videos to
review, I decided today, when I found myself alone with a few spare
hours in a nearby city, to squander a smaller fortune and visit the
coin operated video preview booths of the local smuthaus. 59 separate
videos were available for my viewing pleasure, or something resembling
it. A cozy sofa in each booth. Well, ok, not a cozy sofa, more like
a cheap bench with a sort of soft foam&vinyl covering, but let's not
split hairs. All for only $5 for 45 minutes. It wasn't exactly a
"peep show", but it was hardly a theater. 19" TV and a little channel
changer/volume control built into the wall. Token slot next to the TV
screen. Box of tissues tastefully mounted by the couch. So I spent
about 3 hours watching some of the videos, and thank goodness there
were 59 to choose from, because I did need to give that pair of little
"program-change" buttons a good workout. *click* *click* *click*
This isn't going to be a review, by the way, but a cathartic little
belch after overindulging in cheesy porn.
Let me see, now. On the plate were such classics as The Kissing
Fields, Sodomania #?, Sodomania #??, The Gangbang Girl #15, Hotel
Sodom, and goddess knows what else. With 59 to choose from, they all
start to run together. I hadn't gone in with my standard smut-viewing
notebook, and most of it was crap anyway, so who cares?
Hmmm. On channel 1 we had The Kissing Fields, which, as I recall, had
Brittany O'Connell in it. Once, during a particularly rapid pass
through the lower 48 (49-59 were gay porn, and I wasn't in the mood
for that) I got to see a lovely scene of Ms. O'Connell with a large
phallus being repeatedly plunged into her nether ye in a most
delightful way. I was rather smitten with this little redhead when I
saw her 60 second double-dorking in New Wave Hookers 3, and to see her
posterior filled up again here was a rather pleasant experience. But
to be honest, Ms. O. doesn't seem to be a very, um, convincingly
enthusiastic performer, and that's a shame.
Over on 26, one of those Sodomanias had a verrrrrrry looooooooooong
scene with Bionca and Debbie Diamond which just looked a tad to gross
for me. Something to do with smearing greasy food of some sort on
genitalia. *click* *click* *click*
Here on channel 38 we have The Gangbang Girl #15. Now, this video has
been reviewed previously by someone else in this group, and this
article won't duplicate that effort too much. Nici Stirling puts in a
performance as the owner of a ranch/plantation/whatever who gives her
10 ranch hands a little positive employer/employee relations boost.
Nici is a very pretty little thing, and yes, she was serviced by all
of the aforementioned gentlemen, but the whole thing was, IMNSHO,
somewhat dull and certainly drawn out. Somewhat more enjoyable, for
this filthy pervert, was the first gangbang. A sweet, pretty young
thing (whose name I missed) is a checkout girl at a supermarket, and
is talking to a less sweet, not quite so pretty young thing (whose
name I also missed) about, naturally, sex, and particularly, sex with
those two customers over there in the dairy section. Well, the
LSNQSPYT is eventually inspired to go over to the two gents in the
dairy section and proposition them. What ensues is a rather nice
sequence of some 10-15 young men pounding various orifices with
Brobdingnagian proturbances. "Alas," thought your picky old raincoat,
"when is the SPYT going to get in on the act?". Well, quite a ways
into the repeated reamings of the rude, rapacious and ravenous rectum
of the LSNQSPYT, our SPYT can no longer stand at her cash register and
watch. She comes over to join in on the fun, and gets the same
treatment. Only this one treats the viewer to a DP as well. Nothing
like a total doll being filled up with prick like a little pincushion.
Yummy, yummy, yummy. Still, the LSNQSPYT is a trooper, and knows what
A.P. Ervert likes to see when a female sex performer inserts a penis
into her mouth --- SUCK THAT THING, GIRL! Those phalluses go
waaaaaaaay in there, and she refrains from that contemptible fake
blowjob technique of putting the head just inside the lips and
stroking with her hand while bouncing around. You go, girl!
Anyhow, the cumshot was a disappointment, as is noted in that other
post. Now, call me a boring vanilla anti-smut crusader if you will,
but, Ervert doesn't much care whether there's a facial or not. Just
let's all have lots of fun and let me watch. But the director here
tries to make a monster facial while the SPYT clearly has a rule
against semen deposits on her countenence. She kneels there on the
floor, tongue out, about a foot from the bursting phallus --- and if a
fellow should dare to squirt in her eye, well, there's hell to pay.
Winces every time something hits her face. She even tries to hold her
hair back so that the guys don't squirt on that. Why bother, just
come somewhere else, fellas. Directors, take note --- Ervert wants to
see people enjoying what they're doing, not some formula like "fuck
her in the pussy, fuck her in the ass, fuck her in the mouth, come in
her face". Well, yeah, maybe *some* formula: Ervert likes to see
women enjoying what they're doing while that happens to be having
large numbers of penises stuck into them, but that's beside the
point. If they don't like it, shoot something else instead. If
that's hot, too, I might watch it.
Over on channel 19 we have a video which starts with Tom Byron,
Brittany O'Connell (again, with gusto, "Yummmmmmy" and again with
disappointment, "at least look like you're into it, honey") and
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169 “I can arrange all that.” Such Apaches as had not gone back on the war-path returned to the States with the troops; but there were five months more of the outrages of Geronimo and his kind. Then in the summer of the year another man, more fortunate and better fitted to deal with it all, perhaps,—with the tangle of lies and deceptions, cross purposes and trickery,—succeeded where Crook had failed and had been relieved of a task that was beyond him. Geronimo was captured, and was hurried off to a Florida prison with his band, as far as they well could be from the reservation they had refused to accept. And with them were sent other Indians, who had been the friends and helpers of the government for years, and who had run great risks to help or to obtain peace. But the memory and gratitude of governments is become a proverb. The southwest settled down to enjoy its safety. The troops rested upon the laurels they had won, the superseded general went on with his work in another field far away to the north. The new general, the saviour of the land, was heaped[Pg 305] with honor and praise, and the path of civilization was laid clear. Parliament met on the 10th of January, 1765. The resentment of the Americans had reached the ears of the Ministry and the king, yet both continued determined to proceed. In the interviews which Franklin and the other agents had with the Ministers, Grenville begged them to point to any other tax that would be more agreeable to the colonists than the stamp-duty; but they without any real legal grounds drew the line between levying custom and imposing an inland tax. Grenville paid no attention to these representations. Fifty-five resolutions, prepared by a committee of ways and means, were laid by him on the table of the House of Commons at an early day of the Session, imposing on America nearly the same stamp-duties as were already in practical operation in England. These resolutions being adopted, were embodied in a bill; and when it was introduced to the House, it was received with an apathy which betrayed on all hands the profoundest ignorance of its importance. Burke, who was a spectator of the debates in both Houses, in a speech some years afterwards, stated that he never heard a more languid debate than that in the Commons. Only two or three persons spoke against the measure and that with great composure. There was but one division in the whole progress of the Bill, and the minority did not reach to more than thirty-nine or forty. In the Lords, he said, there was, to the best of his recollection, neither division nor debate! His cheek paled for an instant as the thought obtruded that the man might resist and he have to really shoot him. "Good, the old man's goin' to take the grub out to 'em himself," thought the Deacon with relief. "He'll be easy to manage. No need o' shootin' him." "Them that we shot?" said Shorty carelessly, feeling around for his tobacco to refill his pipe. "Nothin'. I guess we've done enough for 'em already." John Dodd, twenty-seven years old, master, part of the third generation, arranged his chair carefully so that it faced the door of the Commons Room, letting the light from the great window illumine the back of his head. He clasped his hands in his lap in a single, nervous gesture, never noticing that the light gave him a faint saintlike halo about his feathery hair. His companion took another chair, set it at right angles to Dodd's and gave it long and thoughtful consideration, as if the act of sitting down were something new and untried. "Besides," Norma said desperately, "they're only rumors—" "Oh, I've found a way of gitting shut of them rootses—thought of it while I wur working at the trees. I'm going to blast 'em out." During the next ten years the farm went forward by strides. Reuben bought seven more acres of Boarzell in '59, and fourteen in '60. He also bought a horse-rake, and threshed by machinery. He was now a topic in every public-house from Northiam to Rye. His success and the scant trouble he took to conciliate those about him had made him disliked. Unprosperous farmers[Pg 124] spoke windily of "spoiling his liddle game." Ditch and Ginner even suggested to Vennal that they should club together and buy thirty acres or so of the Moor themselves, just to spite him. However, money was too precious to throw away even on such an object, especially as everyone felt sure that Backfield would sooner or later "bust himself" in his dealings with Boarzell. "Let's go home," she said faintly—"it's getting late."